


Do You Have Any Tattoos?

by rakketyrivertam



Series: Operation: (Boy)Friends The Slag Out Of You [3]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Alien Culture, Almost Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 10:01:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22472449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rakketyrivertam/pseuds/rakketyrivertam
Summary: Wheeljack makes a giant blacklight.
Relationships: Hound/Skyfire
Series: Operation: (Boy)Friends The Slag Out Of You [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616251
Comments: 20
Kudos: 34





	Do You Have Any Tattoos?

**Author's Note:**

> You can pry this headcanon from my cold, dead hands.
> 
> **Things to Know**  
\- There are references to Iaconi Standard Depiction, this is a censorship standard of my own invention that came to rise shortly after Functionism, regulating the way certain mechanimals and such can be depicted in art. Artists that deviated would be fined and issued a warning. Too many warnings and they would be prohibited from selling.  
\- Since tattoos for transformers are paint rather than injected ink, "tattooing" can be done by anyone, and though you'd probably want a good artist, it would be something fun to do between family and friends. So while Hound and his friend hanging back to do their own homemade tattoos would be dangerous and alarming for humans, it's perfectly safe and normal for them.  
\- Favonus is a bastardized version of the Roman Favonius, who has dominion over plants and flowers and is the equivalent of the Greek Zephyrus, the west wind and messenger of spring, they're also considered the most gentle of the winds.  
\- Transformers G1 takes place in the 80s, given Sparkplug's age, I feel it's likely he would have served in the Vietnam War in the 60s.  
\- joor is a Cybertronian time measurement equivalent to approximately one hour

“What’s that?” Hound asked as Sparkplug rolled up his sleeves for lunch.

“Hm?” The human looked up and then back down at his bare arm. “Oh, it’s a tattoo. Ink inserted into the skin as decoration. This one’s from my tour in ‘Nam. I have a few others, too.”

“Oh, we have something like that,” Perceptor said. “I don’t think it’s visible to human eyes, though. It’s on a frequency in excess of 800 trillion Hertz.”

“Ultraviolet,” Wheeljack clarified.

“Oh,” Sparkplug said. “We just need a black light, then. If I remember right, we can’t see all of the ultraviolet spectrum, but we’ll be able to see something.”

“What kind of tattoos are common among humans?” Skyfire asked, ever the anthropologist. “How many does the average human have?”

Sparkplug laughed. “Not sure, and… pretty much anything and everything. What about you bots?”

“I have one,” Hound said.

Perceptor nodded. “I have the entire table of elements on my culet.”

Sparkplug tilted his head, frowning as he took a drink of water.

“Lower back,” Perceptor said, twisting and pointing to the area.

Sparkplug choked on his water, spewing it over the table. He coughed several times, hand on his chest. “I believe the kids are calling tattoos there ‘tramp stamps’.”

“Tramp stamps,” Perceptor echoed, looking delighted. “I shall have to remember that when I decide to add Earth elements. You have a few we had never discovered, though we have far more you haven't."

Sparkplug smiled. "Just give us a couple million years more, I'm sure we'll catch up."

Perceptor shrugged, smiling to himself. "Tramp stamp, what an interesting turn of phrase.”

Wheeljack grinned. “I have a couple,” he said. “Tattoos, not tramp stamps. Know where we can get a black light?”

“Big enough for a bot?” Sparkplug asked. “We’d probably need quite a few.”

Wheeljack huffed and waved an arm dismissively. “I’ll just make one, then, it’ll be faster.”

“No!” everyone shouted.

* * *

Regardless of reservations, Wheeljack had his frame of black lights set up in the rec room within the week. “Alright, who’s first?”

Perceptor strode up and turned sideways so his table of elements could clearly be seen by the watching humans.

Carly immediately broke into giggles.

“Does it hurt?” Spike asked.

Perceptor turned and frowned. “Why would it? It’s only paint.”

“Is it permanent?” Sparkplug asked.

Perceptor shrugged. “It can be painted over, but because it’s on a different spectrum, it will always show through a little.”

“I have an example of that, if I may,” Prowl said.

Perceptor nodded and they switched places.

Prowl’s enforcer decals on his wings glowed, and his chest and hands lit up faintly with a polygon that hurt to look at. “Apologies,” Prowl said as he ducked out of the light. “I did not think of whether or not humans would be able to perceive a thirteen-dimensional figure.”

“No problem,” Sparkplug groaned, rubbing his temples. “We almost got it.”

Prowl looked up to see Perceptor staring. “Is something the matter?”

“Priesthood?” Wheeljack asked.

Prowl snorted. “I needed a class exemption to continue on the officer track. It came at the price of one vorn in service at the High Temple in Simfur, and I despised it.”

Jazz rubbed his bondmate’s shoulder and then stepped in to deflect attention. “Yeah, I’ll bet you did, lover. My turn now.” He stepped into the lights, revealing the scattered tattoos on his arms, back, and chest.

Skyfire raised an eyebrow and took three steps back.

Jazz looked back and smiled tightly. “I am literally not that person anymore,” he said, refusing to elaborate.

Wheeljack shrugged. “Yeah, of all people I’d expect to have been in a gang, it would probably be you.”

Jazz laughed and stepped out, gesturing for whoever wanted to go next.

Hound shrugged and walked up, pointing to his shoulder. “Just this one. It’s a cyberwolf.”

“It’s not Iaconi Standard Depiction,” Perceptor said, leaning in close.

Hound shook his head. “No, it’s a mix of that and traditional Mangani style. My House peer and I ended up in the same squad, and when the others went off to get their first ones professionally done, we did each other’s.” He walked back to his seat and sat down heavily, reaching for his drink. “She’s dead now.”

There was a long period of solemn silence, in which the humans looked distinctly uncomfortable.

Finally, Skyfire tentatively stepped up. His entire, giant body glowed, littered with tattoos of all shapes and sizes, crammed together where there clearly had not been enough space, even on his face.

Hound’s feet in the ground and he stood sharply.

Skyfire smiled. “I have one for every planet I’ve visited, every culture I’ve interacted with.”

Sparkplug glanced at Hound. “Thought you’d seen this before.”

“They get to be background noise after a while,” Wheeljack said. “Most everybot has one and you just gloss over it. Switching frequencies like this makes it stand out more.”

Sparkplug shrugged.

Skyfire, still looking at Hound, spoke softly. “I’m only missing human cultures and Mangani.”

Hound lunged and grabbed Skyfire by the arm, towing him out of the room to various catcalls and whistles.

* * *

The two of them made their way into Skyfire’s quarters and Hound paced for a moment. “Do you have any paint?”

Skyfire blinked. “You want to-ˮ

“I want to,” Hound said. “If you do. I just need to come up with something appropriate. It wouldn’t be right to put my House crest on you,” he glanced up and smiled sheepishly, “not yet, hopefully – but that’s the only thing I can do perfectly.”

“It doesn’t have to be perfect,” Skyfire said, reaching under the berth for the paint and brush.

“I want it to be as close as possible,” Hound said, still pacing. “If other Mangani come here, I don’t want them thinking you had it done in a city parlor!” He glanced up sharply. “Where is there even room? That will play a factor.”

“Between my wings, there’s a little,” Skyfire said. “Right on the spinal strut.”

Hound nodded. “A predacon skull. I used to draw them every day. It’s a symbol of gentle strength and good travel, much like a bear for some humans. It’s perfect for you.”

Skyfire smiled and turned. He waited patiently as Hound sketched in silence, watching the joor count up on his HUD.

Eventually, Hound took a deep breath and stepped back. “There we go.”

Skyfire sat up, shaking out his plating. “Thank you. Would… would you like one?”

Hound looked up. “A… Vosi one? Is that different than Iaconi Standard Depiction?”

Skyfire nodded, reaching out to touch Hound’s shoulder, the one without the cyberwolf. “The Artists’ Guild didn’t regulate depictions of the winds, since they were assumed to be invisible in most art. Vos was able to keep its sacred symbols. Favonus, I think. The nurturing wind.” He smiled softly.

Hound leaned forward a moment, then stopped. “I like it,” he said.


End file.
